Hospice

Hospice..... What else can you say. My Mom, who did not smoke, got lung cancer. When found they said she had probably had it 3-4 years. So, Drs. in all their wisdom, remove the mother ship from her lung. After removal of the mother ship, all the little satellites decide to procreate. Shit. The Doctors ( I now Hate Drs.) put her through 3 months of Chemo hell. Sick, sick, sick, lost 37 pounds. Damn satellites grew. New treatment, Tarceva, worse that the chemo. Sick to the point of falling, fainting, not ABLE to eat or drink. This goes on for 3 months. Now this has grown to the point of no return. Sick, sick. Now last Saturday, September 1st. she has a stroke. At first she recognised us, then no. Drs. said she could recover from the stroke but it would take a year. She would be dead from the cancer in 2 months at best. DAMN DOCTORS, why didn't the tell us that all this hell was nothing but torture? It was not healing her, it was only making her last months suck, big time. Now, the truth. Today she was moved to Hospice, which is nice, but basically just drugs her up, BIG TIME. Ok she is not in pain, but I would like for her to recognise me enough to say I love her, one more time. This is not going to happen. I have been to work 1 day, Tuesday last week. I am going home, ( staying in a hotel in High Point, NC) on Sunday and work Monday, come back Monday. The Dr. said 5 to 7 days, but is not sure. It would be with me forever if she was alone when the time came. My Mom has never been a perfect Mom. She has done shit she never should have. Ok, who hasn't? Tomorrow, my sister in law, ( the saint!), and I are going to her house to read the paperwork she left concerning her final wishes. Micro Manager to the end. I am soooo sad. Tell whom ever you care about, love, hate, what ever, just do it while you can. I am going to go pray. I hope it will be heard.